June 8th, 2020 8:38 pm: Something Interesting has happened with me lately. For the first time in 4 years I have been making excuses to myself, and genuinely not feeling like practicing yoga at all. It has been like this for 8 days now, and I can’t help but wonder why. Why now as I approach my 4 year anniversary with my practice, something I am excited for and proud of? Why now after 4 years of practicing every day or at the worst every other unless I was extremely ill? Why now after I had made so many amazing breakthroughs both spiritually and physically over the last few months and weeks, though times are difficult? The excuses are endless. “I have migraines, my stomach and intestines feel like they are falling out, I have no energy, I am an empath and am exhausted right now, it is too hard to make space in my house right now/ the space I want to be in isn’t ready yet, I can’t go to my studio right now.” While all of these are true experiences they are obstacles that haven’t really stopped me before. Wtf is going on with me?! However, I don’t really feel upset with myself. In the past, if I even missed a day, I would be disappointed in myself. Tell myself that I wouldn’t get any better if I didn’t practice. Be really depressed until I found my mat again. Today I am accepting that I am where I am. Tomorrow evening I have a zoom yoga class with my studio and I am really looking forward to it.
June 9th, 2020 8:35 pm: That may have been the best Shavasana of my life! And I was able to meditate for about 30 minutes afterward. I’m going to let you in on my horrible secret, sometimes when I’m practicing at home I skip Shavasana. I know it’s so bad! Sometimes I go for a run instead or just tell myself I don’t have the time. Sometimes I’m so energized afterward I can’t slow down until later in the day and I will come back to my mat, stretch, and do it then. Today I was thankful for that time. Going forward I need to make time for this very important part of my practice.
I feel like a new passion has been ignited in me, and I am excited to enter another year of practicing yoga! I really needed that class to get my spirits up. I miss being in the studio physically, but just being able to connect in this way is so important to me, and my mental health. I’m not sure if I burned myself out or was just in a funk, but I feel at peace with myself and invigorated all at once. In honor of this, here are 4 things I have learned/ am learning from my 4 years of practicing yoga:
1. Acceptance: There are going to be poses that my body just might not be able to do (I’m looking at you Eka Pada Koundinyasana 2), no matter how hard I work just because she wasn’t built that way. And that’s ok. I accept my body for what she is, amazing and ever-changing. My life has also recently gone through a lot of changes some for the better, some for worse. However, life is ever-changing and we cannot stop this change. Instead, choose to accept and embrace the ever-changing path that we are on. Accept that everything happens for a reason and trust in the universe.
2. Curiosity: what happened to our childlike sense of wonder and curiosity? As children we are always Climbing trees, standing on our heads, Running as fast we can, and doing cartwheels just for fun or just to see if we can. We see our bodies and our world with endless possibilities. We believe we can do anything. As we grow up We begin to set limits on ourselves. Tell ourselves that we can’t do things, that our lives/bodies are the way they are and there is nothing we can do to change it. Somewhere along the way, we lose the pure joy of discovering new things about ourselves and our world. Through yoga, I have reclaimed this sense of curiosity and discovered my body/ mind can do things I never thought possible. I have realized that life is beautiful and still full of wonder no matter where you are on the journey of life.
3. Resilience: no matter what happens in my life I will be ok. No matter how many times I fall out of a pose, I get it eventually. No matter how hard a class is, or uncomfortable a pose, I will get through it and feel better when I’m done. No matter what trauma my body, mind, and soul have endured in the past I have always come back stronger. I am resilient.
4. Accountability: Will I show up for myself today? Will I actually listen to what my body needs? Will I go to every yoga class I sign up for or will I cancel last minute for no good reason? Can I trust myself to eat something today even if my stomach hurts? To drink enough water? Will I speak kindly to myself today? Yes. Because through yoga I have learned to always show up for myself, even if that means taking a day off because that is what I needed. Tomorrow is a new day to try again and that is all I ever ask of myself.
Here’s to another 4 years, and hopefully many more after that! I want you to know it is never too late, or the wrong time to start practicing yoga. You already have the right body type and mindset to start. No excuses. If you have ever thought about trying it now is the right time ♥︎
Namaste
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